A tingle

       I'm standing here today, not knowing what to say. With a tingle in my heart, not sure if it's joy or sorrow. So many choices and having to make a decision. Have to figure out what's the next step. Being in Moscow is temporary, but after that the real deal begins. So, what if I make the wrong choice. What if I pursue the wrong dream, the wrong path? Why does it have to be so difficult?

       I'm lost again, feeling like there is no point, feeling like whatever I do, is never good enough and it won't work out anyway.
       Why fall in love? It's not like he's gonna love me back, anyway.
       Why find a job? It's not like i'm gonna stick around long enough, anyway.
       Why live? It's not like i'm gonna enjoy it, anyway.
       Why find a hobby? It's not like i'm good at anything, anyway.

So what's the point? Why find a purpose and fight for it and lose, anyway?

Maybe there is hope, maybe there isn't. But I can't give up. It's not because I don't want to, It's because I don't know how.