Somewhere I belong

       Living in a world that I don't belong to. I suffocate. This is not my life, this is not my style, this is not my place, this is not me. This is not who I am. I know I can do better, I know there is something better out there. I feel trapped. Everything I do, everywhere I go, it's not enough, it's not good enough. Everybody hates me, because they don't know me, because I don't want to show them who I am, because there is no point. There is no point in anything. I just want to run away. Far away from here.The sooner the better. It doesn't matter where. Somewhere where I can start over. Somewhere where I can be whoever I wanna be, where I can be myself. Where I can start living. Where I can feel confident, where I can feel appreciated, where people don't judge other people just because they can. Starting the life that I have always dreamt of. Where I have my own place, where I do my own dishes, I cook what I want, I go out and come back at 4 am, and don't have to worry about what my mom will say. Where I'm independent, I have a nice job, I buy what I need and don't have to worry about poverty. Where I can buy flowers and put them in a vase on the kitchen table to smell like freshness for days. Where I can afford little surprises for the loved ones, where I can afford making my dreams come true. And ultimately, live my love story I never had. Where he is sweet, but manly. I'm crazy about him, and he always shows me that he cares. He calls just to hear my voice or shows up unexpectedly at my door to say he missed me. We can do anything we want together, we can talk for hours, stare at each other as if it's the first time we meet or we can keep perfectly still and never get bored. We fight and then we have make up sex. And then we have coffee. Black and strong.

     

  It's not too much to ask for. Or maybe it is.